The Mac Weekly

Issue date: 3/10/06 Section: Features

Do: Give it 100 percent Don’t: Accidentally give it 50 percent of your DNA, mostly recessive genes (you dick!)Do: Look on the bright side Don’t: Look at the sun during an eclipseDo: Go cow tipping Don’t: Go veal untyingDo: “IT” Don’t: Do “E.T.” You don’t know where that interplanetary life form has been. Doon’t: Do former “E.T.” host John Tesh. He has a career to focus on, you home wrecker.Do: Hit me with your best shot Don’t: Press chargesDo: Take that stupid grin off your face Don’t: Surgically remove that stupid face off your faceDo: Do-rags Don’t: Do-rugsDo: Be a goodie two-shoes Don’t: Be a baddie one-nippleDo: Live a little Don’t: Die a lotDo: Count your blessings Don’t: Spend all of your blessings on a shopping spree at the mall because you “totally deserve a ‘me day’”Do: See the glass as half full Don’t: See the glass as half full of poison and/or rat droppingsDo: Go skinny dipping Don’t: Go morbidly obese dippingDo: Save yourself for marriage Don’t: Save yourself in a hermetic capsule for marriage in the year 2084 to King Phormigimus450. He’s not worth it, yo. No super-human mutant is. Get some self-esteem already.

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