2008 Woodie Awards
Ted Fines: The man behind the bust
By: Amy Lieberman, Managing Editor
Issue date: 3/10/06 Section: Features
- Page 1 of 2 next >
Inside network administrator Ted Fines' Humanities building office, there are stacked cardboard boxes and a sparse bulletin board with thumbtacks in the shape of a heart. There are two figurines of Jesus Christ, displaying J.C. dancing with young ballerinas and playing basketball with boys in short-shorts and high-top sneakers. There is a Homer Simpson ceramic cookie jar, pictures and stuffed animals of apes, including an orangutan and a chimpanzee.
And then, there is the clay Lionel Richie sculpture. Richie's thick, slightly misshapen head rests on a rectangular slab of clay. His little ball-shaped eyes bulge from their sockets and his narrow lips, pursed together, protrude, almost in a pout. Fingerprints scattered across Richie's face leave potholes and crevices. He has no hair, and as Fines pointed out, only one ear.
From behind his desk, Fines proudly looked at the bust and chuckled.
â?oeThat's him, in all his glory,â?? he said.
Fines, a Mac â?TM93 alum, has recently appeared in Macalester's limelight because of his jobâ?"the email server OCS's unpredictability has left Fines and his staff quite busy. But Fines is willing to talk about much more than computers or the internet. After all, there are more important things to discuss.
Fines said that at first, creating a Lionel Richie bust was a joke modeled after Richie's video â?oeHello,â?? in which a blind girl constructs a bust of her own. It isn't that Fines has a particularly strong affinity for the 80s pop starâ?"â?oeOh no!â?? Fines exclaimed upon question of his devotionâ?"it's just all in the name of a good laugh.
â?oeIt didn't stop being funny,â?? Fines said. â?oeIt's so completely incompetent, it is so bad. I couldn't stop laughing. Then I knew it was ready. It was a masterpiece of sorts.â??
In 2003, after the bust was complete, Fines presented it for friends and family at his wife's birthday. He propped it up on a pile of logs, surrounded by headshots of the inspiration himself.
And then, there is the clay Lionel Richie sculpture. Richie's thick, slightly misshapen head rests on a rectangular slab of clay. His little ball-shaped eyes bulge from their sockets and his narrow lips, pursed together, protrude, almost in a pout. Fingerprints scattered across Richie's face leave potholes and crevices. He has no hair, and as Fines pointed out, only one ear.
From behind his desk, Fines proudly looked at the bust and chuckled.
â?oeThat's him, in all his glory,â?? he said.
Fines, a Mac â?TM93 alum, has recently appeared in Macalester's limelight because of his jobâ?"the email server OCS's unpredictability has left Fines and his staff quite busy. But Fines is willing to talk about much more than computers or the internet. After all, there are more important things to discuss.
Fines said that at first, creating a Lionel Richie bust was a joke modeled after Richie's video â?oeHello,â?? in which a blind girl constructs a bust of her own. It isn't that Fines has a particularly strong affinity for the 80s pop starâ?"â?oeOh no!â?? Fines exclaimed upon question of his devotionâ?"it's just all in the name of a good laugh.
â?oeIt didn't stop being funny,â?? Fines said. â?oeIt's so completely incompetent, it is so bad. I couldn't stop laughing. Then I knew it was ready. It was a masterpiece of sorts.â??
In 2003, after the bust was complete, Fines presented it for friends and family at his wife's birthday. He propped it up on a pile of logs, surrounded by headshots of the inspiration himself.
Be the first to comment on this story