2008 Woodie Awards
A call from the wild
The Mac Weeklyâ?TMs outdoor column
Issue date: 3/31/06 Section: Sports
- Page 1 of 1
With the arrival of Spring the Mac weekly wants to do an outdoor column and they want you oh reader to contribute your tales of outdoor adventure or blunder.
After looking at the seven day weather forecast and speaking with the Mac Weekly meteorologist, we in the paperâ?TMs sports section would like to announce that spring is in fact here. Armed with this knowledge we feel safe in making a suggestion to all students: Go outside.
Now some of you may say that youâ?TMre a few steps ahead of us on this one, and indeed we have seen you playing Frisbee, studying, and pitching tents out on the lawns blah, blah, blah. Youâ?TMre missing the point.
Really go outside, leave campus and experience the outdoors. Trust us, you donâ?TMt have anything better to do. To prove it, weâ?TMve come up with several bullet points in what looks like a pretty convincing argument.
One: Take a look at what Mac students do after graduation. Odds are youâ?TMll be working at a non-profit, emphasis on the non. Net profit to society...sounds like zero. Net profit to youâ?¦well subtract the time you waste slaving away, carry the oneâ?¦hmm, less than zero. This whole school thing isnâ?TMt going to end well for you, so you might as well enjoy something actually worth while, like nature.
Two: College basketball fans, your brackets are screwed, thereâ?TMs no point in watching the tournament anymore because youâ?TMve already lost to that one really annoying guy who picked George Mason to make the final four because his parents went there. Stop wallowing in the lack of creativity that led you to pick UConn and Duke in the Championship. Go outside.
Lastly: A member of the Mac weekly sports staff was out and about this one time and found a leftover marijuana cigarette. Where? Thatâ?TMs right, outside. Odds are, there are more where that came from.
Weâ?TMre pretty sure this provides substantial evidence that you really donâ?TMt have anything better to do with your time. If you maintain that you do, all we can say is congratulations. You are more interesting people than we are.
If on the other hand we have you convinced that you donâ?TMt, please allow us welcome you to the club and invite you to write about any extraordinary, or even really lame experience you have in the outdoors and send it to us, the Mac Weekly sports staff. We hope to include an outdoor section in sports for the rest of the semester and weâ?TMd like to see your name on it.
Best of luck on your outdoor excursions and adventures.
After looking at the seven day weather forecast and speaking with the Mac Weekly meteorologist, we in the paperâ?TMs sports section would like to announce that spring is in fact here. Armed with this knowledge we feel safe in making a suggestion to all students: Go outside.
Now some of you may say that youâ?TMre a few steps ahead of us on this one, and indeed we have seen you playing Frisbee, studying, and pitching tents out on the lawns blah, blah, blah. Youâ?TMre missing the point.
Really go outside, leave campus and experience the outdoors. Trust us, you donâ?TMt have anything better to do. To prove it, weâ?TMve come up with several bullet points in what looks like a pretty convincing argument.
One: Take a look at what Mac students do after graduation. Odds are youâ?TMll be working at a non-profit, emphasis on the non. Net profit to society...sounds like zero. Net profit to youâ?¦well subtract the time you waste slaving away, carry the oneâ?¦hmm, less than zero. This whole school thing isnâ?TMt going to end well for you, so you might as well enjoy something actually worth while, like nature.
Two: College basketball fans, your brackets are screwed, thereâ?TMs no point in watching the tournament anymore because youâ?TMve already lost to that one really annoying guy who picked George Mason to make the final four because his parents went there. Stop wallowing in the lack of creativity that led you to pick UConn and Duke in the Championship. Go outside.
Lastly: A member of the Mac weekly sports staff was out and about this one time and found a leftover marijuana cigarette. Where? Thatâ?TMs right, outside. Odds are, there are more where that came from.
Weâ?TMre pretty sure this provides substantial evidence that you really donâ?TMt have anything better to do with your time. If you maintain that you do, all we can say is congratulations. You are more interesting people than we are.
If on the other hand we have you convinced that you donâ?TMt, please allow us welcome you to the club and invite you to write about any extraordinary, or even really lame experience you have in the outdoors and send it to us, the Mac Weekly sports staff. We hope to include an outdoor section in sports for the rest of the semester and weâ?TMd like to see your name on it.
Best of luck on your outdoor excursions and adventures.
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