2008 Woodie Awards
MacAwkward College: A survivor's guide
By: Eva Thea Kuhn
Issue date: 2/29/08 Section: Opinion
Although Macalester students are diverse by nature, one common adjective seems to unite us: awkward. If I had a nickel for how many times I've heard my peers describe their Café Mac experience / Friday night / Tues/Thurs class / Walk from Carnegie to Old Main as "awkward," well, I'd probably have free lattes for a semester. Personally, I blame this on a dynamic around here I call "Hi Today, Gone Tomorrow."
Picture it. You see someone, maybe he/she is in a class with you, introduced themselves at one point, worked with you on a group paper, or quite possibly shared a bed with you. That person passes you without so much as a nod of recognition or even eye contact. What gives? You're left wondering if there's something on your face, if you smell horrible, if you were so drunk you imagined the whole thing, or if you took your invisible pills that morning. If you're me four years ago, you resolve never to speak to he/she again and seethe whenever the person walks by.
Or maybe you decide to take the bull by the horns and say hello. Often, you're met with silence or a skittish and stammering, "Um h-h-i…" making the whole experience too uncomfortable to ever think of repeating. That's admittedly part of the problem.
As someone extremely guilty of staring aggressively but not acknowledging, I can offer a few explanations. Firstly, there are roughly 1600 students at this school. By senior year, saying hello to everyone you've ever come into contact with can be a huge bitch. Especially if you're not channeling Mary Sunshine at that particular moment and know you have five minutes to fight with Jay and Silent Bob and print out an essay due yesterday.
The second explanation lies in the ever-uncomfortable and usually drunken weekend hook-up or even flirtatious conversation. Since at this school inebriated rendez-vous and/or smiles around the keg often result in full-fledged college marriages, students often feel the need to ward off that possibility with complete dismissal. You bump into each other at the salad bar, or worse, Sunday brunch and general protocol is to walk right by: No I do not know you, and I have absolutely never made out with you. The defense mechanism of sober-ignorance-is-bliss may be necessary at times, or for the sake of dignity, but maybe we can all remember that saying "hi" post night together in Doty really isn't a marriage proposal. It's common courtesy.
Picture it. You see someone, maybe he/she is in a class with you, introduced themselves at one point, worked with you on a group paper, or quite possibly shared a bed with you. That person passes you without so much as a nod of recognition or even eye contact. What gives? You're left wondering if there's something on your face, if you smell horrible, if you were so drunk you imagined the whole thing, or if you took your invisible pills that morning. If you're me four years ago, you resolve never to speak to he/she again and seethe whenever the person walks by.
Or maybe you decide to take the bull by the horns and say hello. Often, you're met with silence or a skittish and stammering, "Um h-h-i…" making the whole experience too uncomfortable to ever think of repeating. That's admittedly part of the problem.
As someone extremely guilty of staring aggressively but not acknowledging, I can offer a few explanations. Firstly, there are roughly 1600 students at this school. By senior year, saying hello to everyone you've ever come into contact with can be a huge bitch. Especially if you're not channeling Mary Sunshine at that particular moment and know you have five minutes to fight with Jay and Silent Bob and print out an essay due yesterday.
The second explanation lies in the ever-uncomfortable and usually drunken weekend hook-up or even flirtatious conversation. Since at this school inebriated rendez-vous and/or smiles around the keg often result in full-fledged college marriages, students often feel the need to ward off that possibility with complete dismissal. You bump into each other at the salad bar, or worse, Sunday brunch and general protocol is to walk right by: No I do not know you, and I have absolutely never made out with you. The defense mechanism of sober-ignorance-is-bliss may be necessary at times, or for the sake of dignity, but maybe we can all remember that saying "hi" post night together in Doty really isn't a marriage proposal. It's common courtesy.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
zippy
posted 3/03/08 @ 2:22 AM CST
replace the word "awkward" with various combinations of the words "self-involved" and "materialistic" and you're dead on. in the past 5 years, this place has really turned into a vapid, elitist hellhole. (Continued…)
Alpha Girl
posted 3/03/08 @ 8:13 AM CST
"The second explanation lies in the ever-uncomfortable and usually drunken weekend hook-up or even flirtatious conversation. Since at this school inebriated rendez-vous and/or smiles around the keg often result in full-fledged college marriages"
I hooked up 30 or 40 (lost count after 15 or so) MacAwkward guys when I was smashed freshman year. (Continued…)
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